So much to say...

Today I'm in the Thoreau, New Mexico Volunteer Fire Department engine house, with what might be the flu. Doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but honestly things could be much worse, and I consider myself lucky to have gotten here the way I did. About five miles out of town an older fella on the way back from visiting family in Arizona spotted me stumbling around the shoulder of the highway around ten last night. I was feeling dizzy and feverish. I don't like giving up miles if I don't have to, but I suppose getting over myself and accepting a little help isn't always so bad. 

I'm stubborn, and proud...and these two qualities are the driving forces behind my continuing this journey after it would have made a lot of sense to simply pack up and go home. Yes, I want do what I said I'd do because there are a lot of people emotionally invested in this event...but I'm not sure that alone would have been enough to keep me out here. I have little interest in accolades. I don't need someone to tell me "good job" when this is through. If nobody shows up when I walk or run into Lubbock in three weeks, that's fine. Really, I just don't like to lose -- and I won't. That may not seem very heroic...but I'm not a hero. I want to keep my word because I gave it to people I care about (whether they asked me to or not), and I want t reach my goal because I set it.

I talked to my former driver Bob a couple of days ago. He said he should never have offered to be my driver, and I agree. I fly by the seat of my pants, and a lot of the plans for this trip were far from static. It required a level of adaptability that was perhaps a little unfair to expect of him. Bob said he would have been of better service as a financial backer, and he has continued to be just that. I have no hard feelings. If not for Bob and his wife Lana, I would never have made it as far as I have.

Yes, we definitely were not communicating on the same wavelength during this trip. He never understood (any may still not) why I felt the location I ran the miles was as important as the actual miles put in. When Bob would get frustrated about our location due to traffic/weather/etc and wanted to move on, or worse...wanted to go home, I felt like I had to sacrifice to keep the run going. I think if I had put my foot down earlier, we would have had the conversation we ended up having in Flagstaff much earlier, and would have come to the realization that we were both sort of missing the message we were trying to send one another. Call it a generational thing, or very different personalities....whatever it was, in the end it was easy not to be mad and feel pretty stupid about our marked lacked of understanding. Still, it couldn't have happened any other way, so it was probably inevitable. Bob is a good man, and he's doing right by me. I want everyone to know that. It's been nice having a chance to step back and see the situation for what it really was. Again, I have no ill will toward Bob. I look forward to shaking his hand in Lubbock.

I missed miles because I felt like I had to to make them happy, and they thought I was happy to miss miles and make them up later. Neither was true.

That said, those miles that need to be made up are giving me an opportunity to add a stop on my trip that I would have liked to have included from the start. Instead of running into Lubbock from Amarillo, I'll be heading straight to Austin.

I should be clear...I'm still ending the run in Lubbock. That is my ultimate destination. Yes, I could simply run around Lubbock over and over again, and hell...I still may, but the likely scenario is that Austin is now on the map. I have family and good friends there, and there is a pretty vibrant running community. I think Austin is a good fit.

A lot of folks that contact me and that have helped me along the way are also praying for me. My Aunt Debbie, who was one of the catalysts for this run prays for me everyday I'm fairly certain. I don't have a lot of faith in...well...faith, but it means a lot because I understand the sentiment behind prayer. I have nothing but goodwill towards those that are doing so on my behalf. It's humbling that I'm in the thoughts of so many people -- very good people. That said, I think that prayer only works when people take the initiative to act, which sort of means (to me) that prayer is simply stating a need -- and you either take strides to see those needs met or you don't -- or by chance circumstances fill that need, which I think is rare. I've met a lot of people who are acting on my behalf.

When I was in Flagstaff after Bob and Lana left, an inn keeper named Brian put me up on the cheap in one of his cabins while I figured out how to continue this run. He also took me out to Sedona (incredible), just because, had dinner with me, took me to see my first elk, and taught me how to suck a little less at pool with the help of his buddy Japh. While waiting those three days, a fantastic representative of the American Cancer Society, Ameeta, took a personal interest in my Aunt Debbie's situation -- and further, my traveling circumstances.

Ameeta and her daughter (who is awesomely similar to her mother, by the way) picked me up at six in the morning from the inn and crewed my run for a few hours on a Saturday. She is selfless, and incredibly kind.. She's a credit not only to the organization that she works for, but to what people can be. She's simply an excellent person, who gave a damn about some goofy guy she'd never met before who was too stubborn to not do something as dangerous as traveling down the highway alone for the next three weeks.

Ameeta is someone I'll call a friend for as long as she'll have me as one.

Once I hiked into Winslow, Arizona I had the opportunity to meet a cancer survivor, Petra, and her husband Art. I got to put a face to yet another person that I'm doing this run for. Petra is a busy woman, with from what I can tell is a lot of irons in the fire...and she not only took the time to get to know me, but treated me like family. Her and her clan took me into their home, fed me, and made phone calls ahead of my trail to secure more run crew or at the very least a place to stay.

They were expecting a grandchild any day (congratulations to them, as said grandchild has now arrived as of this writing), and STILL decided to be my support team for the run to Holbrook. I got to sit with Art and listen to him explain why so many people in this beautiful part of the country suffer from cancer. Fallout from nuclear testing back in the day made this a deadly place to live for a lot of people, and our government cares very little. Again...I've been given the opportunity to more fully understand what I'm running/hiking for as a result of losing my steady run crew  and RV. While I'm not thrilled with the circumstances day to day, I wouldn't trade the experiences I've had thus far. Petra, Art, and their family are people I never would have met had I not been stranded in Flagstaff.

Like Ameeta, Petra and Art are people I'll always call friends. They feel like family. It's been an incredible privilege to have them be a part of my life.

It goes on. Through them, I had a warm bed and good food (great food, actually...that I ate entirely too much of) in Holbrook thanks to a man named Luis. His brother is fighting cancer, he's lost a grandchild. Thanks to him, I was able to address the mayor and city council of Holbrook about this run and what it means to me. Thanks to him, I was able to run for a few hours the next day, and he drove me into Gallup for a media opportunity. He had no obligation to do either. He's just a good man.

.....and it goes one.

A cousin I've never met, Luke, is a firefighter out of Ruidoso, New Mexico. His mother, Judy, who I've not seen since I was nine put us in touch. Luke is calling every town along my route and getting me set up in the local firehouses so I have a place to sleep at night other than a ditch on the side of the highway in my tent or spending money on a motel. I spent an evening driving around in an engine eating pizza and shooting the shit with two firefighters in Gallup, having a great time. Even then, I was learning more about why I was doing this -- why this matters so much. Waste spills and open uranium mining pits have polluted the groundwater and contributed to elevated cancer levels in Gallup. Many firefighters in that department have died of cancer as well. Where is the outrage? Well...it's all right here, but not much place else.

You know, maybe it is a higher power that's guided me into this situation, and thus given me the opportunity to meet these people -- I'm not closed to the concept. I'm very open, in fact. That said, however, I credit this more to the guiding hand and strong personalities of great people.

These are folks that spin a web of support that connects others like them until a common goal is accomplished, or at least made easier to accomplish.

Small groups of people, linked by clear goals, similar circumstances, common ground -- they are capable of extraordinary things. I've seen extraordinary things during this journey.

I have faith in the kindness of people, and the actions they're capable of. Yeah, Petra prayed for me -- IS praying for me -- but she has acted. It meant so much that they had me over for dinner the first day they met me, and that she thought to feed me the next night as well. It meant so much that she and Art hopped in their car and crewed me for a day instead of letting me hike down the road -- even if that meant having to rush almost forty miles back home if their daughter went into labor. Jesus, they could have missed the birth of their granddaughter, for ME!

Crazy.

I have my friend Nathan that checks on me anytime I get a chance to pop open my laptop, just to see how I am and remind me that what I'm doing right now is a privilege. He's absolutely right. I'm lucky to get to do something like this.

My buddy Aaron in Austin constantly tossed ideas my way before this began to help improve the run, meet my goals, and just say funny crap that makes me laugh when I could really use a reason to do so. More than that, however, he and his wife were there for me months ago when I barely had the motivation to get out of bed, much less run.

There is a funny, pretty girl in Northern California that talks to me everyday while I'm on the road. She may not know it, but she's made some of the wost days out here bearable, and it's meant a lot.

My trainer Eric motivates me and has helped me confirm to myself that the decision to go on is the right one. He's a good fella, and it's meant a lot to have him here from the very beginning of this journey.

I appreciate all of the messages, the concern, the prayers -- everything.

I believe in the goodness of individuals...and I've not been let down to this point. I've been given water by strangers passing on the highway, offered rides, food, advice -- I'm just some guy on the side of the road.

Finally, unless I'm physically no longer capable of moving forward, this run will be completed. My stated miles will be covered, be it on the run or with a pack on my back. I will arrive in Lubbock, having accomplished my goal. It's important to me to do this for myriad reasons -- of which I think I've reasonably covered.

Thanks to everyone for being a part of the experience I've had thus far. It means a lot. I hope you stick around, keep reading, and continue donating to the cause. I want cancer cured, and I think we can see that in our lifetime. Call me optimistic, or crazy. Whichever works for you. I think it can be done, and I'd like to be a contributing factor, even if a small one.

I'll be having my cousin update the blog for me when I'm not available to do so, so hopefully the site will remain much more active. It's difficult to sit down and do this when I'd like to. I'll introduce her to you guys soon.

Now, food and rest. Hopefully, whatever I have will be on the way out come Monday when I get on the road again.

All the best.

-Dustin